How to limit your baby s dummy (pacifier/soother) dependency
by
Lucy Fitzgerald
Dummies, pacifiers, soothers it s a subject that gets folks somewhat stirred up. They re either quite brilliant, providing comfort and reassurance (and a little peace for everyone) or disgusting and tacky, used to dummy up baby and delay communication.
For some, dummies are unhygienic and unhealthy. For others, they are a trendy fashion accessory. And while some parents find the dummy causes significant sleep problems, others view them as a lifesaver in establishing healthy sleep habits.
So who s right? Well, in my humble opinion, it s like everything in parenting there is (on the whole) no right and wrong. As parents we have to do what is right for us and for our families, also for our babies, who are individuals. Before Laurie came along I had no plans to use a dummy. It wasn t so much that I didn t like them, as I didn t think I d need them. I didn t even have one in the house when he came home. That soon changed!
Now that the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths are recommending babies are put to sleep with a soother, it s likely more and more parents will introduce dummies as a precautionary measure. And as many of us know some babies love to suck! So it won t take our little monkeys long to become dependant on the dummy as a sleep prop.
And so many of us know how this goes. At first, baby sleeps really well, and then sleep cycles start to establish themselves, and there we are getting up 5 times a night to replace the dummy. We re terrified to take it away because at least putting the dummy back in makes them go back to sleep for an hour or so. What if there was no dummy? Would we just have to stay awake shushing baby in the hope of one more hour s sleep before another dawn arrives? When we are that tired, any dream will do.
Most parents I know who have taken the plunge and called it a day with the dummy have done just fine. In fact, after 3 to 7 days, it s often like it never existed or so I hear. Sounds too good to be true. Well for some it is. Some babies move on quickly. Others struggle. They cry and scream and we feel wretched for them and for ourselves. Desperate to sleep we cave in and give them the dummy again. Confusing and emotionally challenging for everyone.
Here s what I suggest to limit dummy dependency. Use it for sleep times only, including nap time. Once your baby is asleep, try taking the dummy out so he isn t sleeping with it in his mouth all night long.
Encourage your baby to learn to manage the dummy by himself from an early age. This may be with a Sleepytot comforter or your baby may be able to handle the dummy well himself. Use play to teach him these skills and reward him with lots of praise when he makes progress. Between 6 and 10 months, most babies can find the soother themselves in their cot and go back to sleep independently. But you will need to teach them to do this.
Interestingly, research has shown that babies who use a soother might have sleep issues initially, when they can t find the dummy. But they later become brilliant sleepers. Dummies can be used to extend night time sleep and day time naps, to help babies relax into sleep and also encourage young toddlers to nap when they are difficult to wind down. Some babies don t need this assistance, others just will not sleep without it. Often when they do fall asleep, they re so tense that they wake up after 45 minutes, bawling again. No fun for anyone.
So if your baby does use a dummy, teach him early to find it himself and go back to sleep without calling you. That way, everyone gets a good night s sleep. And if your baby is still waking up five times a night and needing you to replace the dummy towards the end of year one despite your efforts to help him find it on his own, it might be time to let it go. After all, sleep props should help not interfere with healthy sleep habits.
Lucy Fitzgerald is mum to two boys, Laurie and Frankie. She is co-director of Sleepytot where she designs and sells award winning baby products to help babies sleep. She also provides free baby sleep advice and tips through the Sleepytot Blog at www.sleepytot.com.
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How to limit your baby s dummy (pacifier/soother) dependency